Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Ignorance may be bliss, but avoidance is survival

A week from today is the big b-day. But that's seven days off, so there's no sense wasting this long weekend worrying about that milestone.

Avoidance: it's become my primary coping mechanism of late. I haven't even put pen to paper in planning or ordered a single thing yet for Cayden's party next weekend. Well, except the photographer, our one splurge.

I just know the reality of his first birthday and the end of his infancy is going to crash down on me someday very soon, bringing with it heaving sobs and desperate wishes for more time with my baby boy. But I'm consciously avoiding that realization with all I've got, preoccupying myself with other things and not daring to think further ahead than the day in front of me.

Like a long weekend trip to Jim Thorpe for a lakeside picnic, a wine festival, deer spotting, woods walking, some small-town shopping and some good ol' family time.

Convenient, how living for today is the perfect cover for retreating from and making a deliberate effort to ignore the imminent future.

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