Dear Mary

Our last group meeting -- a World Breastfeeding Week celebration, where I gave Mary my letter of thanks for all her support through the first year of Cayden's life -- was nearly a month ago, but I was waiting for the photo of the group to post it.  So here it is...

July 29, 2010

Dear Mary,

I want to express to you my heartfelt thanks for all you do for the women and babies who come through Hershey’s breastfeeding and new moms groups. Perhaps you already know the uplifting strength you have brought to dozens – probably hundreds – of anxious first-time mothers over the years, but I want to personally thank you for helping me become a better mother to my first-born, Cayden.

A few weeks ago you asked me what advice I had for new moms “in the trenches” of the first weeks of motherhood and breastfeeding. I could not have been more honest in my reply when I said, “Go to the Tuesday breastfeeding group.” Your Tuesday group set the stage not only for our breastfeeding success (we made our goal of one year – not a drop of formula for this baby – and we’ll keep going as long as my boy is willing), but also for an open dialogue with been-there-done-that moms that granted me the hope I needed in the early, trying weeks.

Even nearly a year after my first Tuesday group, I vividly remember looking around the room, settling sight on a Mama and baby pair, and thinking to myself, “OK, that’s what four weeks looks like; I can make it to four weeks.” And later, “So that’s four months; I know we can get to four months.”

The shared experiences of other moms and the conversations in those Tuesday, then Thursday, groups granted me the regular escapes from the house and invaluable understanding and validation I didn’t even know I needed so desperately in the early months.

And the groups could not be the welcoming, supportive collections of women they are without your compassionate leadership. I can see the joy it brings you to help new generations of mothers share their experiences, learn from each other and become better, more informed and more considerate caretakers. And I am so grateful for the blessing of having met you and having benefited from your wisdom and support.

Your empathy is refreshing, your faith inspiring, your tenderness touching. Your clinical expertise combined with your own mothering and grand-mothering insight allow you to expertly nurture and encourage doubtful and discouraged new mothers, while your graceful disposition inspires hope and strength simply by radiating peace and serenity.

Thank you for helping me learn the difficult, yet infinitely rewarding lessons of patience and tenderness, maternal love and dedication. Thank you for listening, observing, validating, commiserating, motivating, uplifting.

Thank you for providing the forum that demonstrates twice a week the amazing influence one caring leader can have on the lives of countless moms and their littles, new pairs desperate for just such kindness, understanding and support.

Thank you for celebrating new mothers and new babies. Thank you for celebrating my son and I for the past year.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Six-month Check-up

This morning we visited Dr. Baker for Cayden's six-month check-up. Chicken Wing was playful and happy through most of the visit, until the wait for the nurses to return with the shots got a little long.

The stats:
Weight: 21 pounds, 5 ounces (95th percentile)
Length: 28 inches (90th percentile)
Head Circ.: 17.5 inches (70th percentile)

At four months his head was measured at 18 inches, but the doc thinks it was probably just a generous measurement. It's doubtful his head shrank.

We asked a couple of questions about eye boogers and food.

Turns out Cayden's life-long crusty eye condition is normal, and sometimes it takes 9 to 12 months for a baby's tear ducts to regulate themselves to not produce nasty yellow and green eye snot. If his eyes are still full of boogers at a year, then we can explore a minor surgery to open up the tear ducts. They like to wait that long, because the baby has to be VERY still for the procedure, and they like to avoid general anesthesia.

As for food, Doc Baker says we're doing the right thing in continually trying to find a balance between satisfying the kid's seemingly insatiable appetite and not overfeeding him. Doc predicts Cayden's appetite will begin to self-regulate over the next six months, so that he's not gorging himself at the boob to the point of spitting up, and fussing everytime we reach the bottom of the food dish.

Oh, and when to introduce meat is up to us: if we want to puree cooked lamb or turkey now, we can; if we want to wait until he can handle texture in foods (avoiding the puree step), that's fine too. Early introduction of meats doesn't pose an allergy risk, but he doesn't need the meat from a nutritional standpoint. I may just wait until his pincer grasp develops --keeping Cayden on grains, fruits and veggies at mealtime -- and introduce meats when he can handle the bigger chunks. Saves some work.

We also got a prescription for flouride and a recommendation to take kiddo to the dentist somewhere between one and two years old. Hmmm, decidedly different advice from what my dentist told me -- that he should get his first check up as soon as the first tooth pops up.

Oh, and Dr. Baker had to pick a cat hair of Cayden's twink again at this visit. **blush**

Then came the shots. Yes, plural. Our schedule had him ready for Pentacel this time, but it turns out that since today is more than four weeks from his last dose of Prevnar, he could have that, too. He didn't have a reaction to either shot before, so I figured, heck, why not do both, to avoid a separate nurse visit for the second shot in February. So he ended up getting both shots, at the same time, from two different nurses, one in each thigh. And he DID. NOT. LIKE. THAT. And he let us know. Even after he nursed (with tears in his eyes), he started crying again as soon as I pulled him off the boob.

I don't know if his first really unhappy reaction to shots is because he's older and more aware, because he got two shots rather than one or some other reason. But I think I'm going back to avoiding multiple shots in one visit in the future. Not only was he upset, but then I got home I realized he got 455 mcg of aluminum at one time by combining the shots. But oh well; what's done is done, and millions of other babies survive multiple doses of aluminum (admittedly still a very small amount) at once.

A few things I forgot to mention that are worth mentioning

1.) About the two nights of progressive waiting we tried: how cruel that Cayden's only makes use of consonants during his most passionate cries, making every wail sound like "Ma Ma Ma Maaaa."

2.) Dr. Baker had to pull a cat fur off Cayden's twink at yesterday's appointment. It made me laugh, and the doc wasn't at all concerned.

3.) We're on Day Number Eight without a poop. This is the longest no-poop window since just before Canada and Cayden's 2-month birthday.

4.) He took his shot yesterday like a champ. Reaction was delayed by a second or two, but then he just let out one cry and that was it.

Four-Month Well Visit

Well, Cayden is thinning out and becoming more proportional, although he's still at the top of the growth charts. His stats are as follows:

Head Circumference: 18 inches (97th percentile)
Length: 26.5 inches (95th percentile)
Weight: 19 pounds, 3 ounces (97th percentile)

Dr. Baker gave us the green light to start solid foods, so I brought the high chair up from the garage this morning, and as soon as Chicken Wing wakes up, I'll start putting it together while he plays.

We may try some rice cereal tonight -- about a tablespoon mixed with breastmilk and fed to him using a baby spoon (rather than bottle, because of choking hazard), all as the doc recommended.

Doc Baker says he approaches sleep and BF kind of in the middle of the two extremes. While he thinks Cayden is a little young at four months for hard-core Ferberizing, he does think we can encourage him to learn self-soothing and putting himself to sleep by repeatedly presenting him opportunities to do so. He says to keep putting him in the crib, but if he screams and cries, we can certainly pick him up and soothe him, but then put him back down in the crib. His theory? After 8, 10, 12... tries, Cayden will start to learn it's just easier to fall asleep than fight it and go through the up-down, up-down routine.

The doc is also confident Cayden is eating more at night following the days I'm away from him, because he simply couldn't grow like this if his intake all day long was comparable to the 13 ounces he has during the 10 hours away from me. So he's not concerned about night feedings or feeding on demand at this point. He said that if multiple night feedings are still interrupting sleep around 9 months, then we'll explore whether or not he's looking for food or something else.

In short, Dr. Baker says we shouldn't worry about developing bad habits at this point. He says we're still in "survival mode" -- very common with a four month-old breastfed baby -- and that he wouldn't worry about bad habits until somewhere between 9 and 12 months.

Kind of reassuring, but also kinda not, since he basically said to keep doing what we've been doing (even trying the bedtime CIO we did for the past two nights with questionable results) and keep looking for opportunities to help him learn to self-soothe and go to sleep on his own.

About the past two nights' bedtime CIO routines: they were tough on us (we were both ready to quit at varying points each night), but both nights he did fall asleep on his own within an hour, and he slept until 2 or 2:30 each time. 40 minutes of crying Wed. night and 50 minutes of crying last night. Heartbreaking. But the progressive waiting approach did allow him reassurance every so often that we were still around, and he had eaten shortly before, so we knew he wasn't hungry. Just unhappy. It's tough stuff bein' a baby.

And bedtime CIO, whether it becomes regular or occasional, it about all we can take at this point. Doc Baker did say he doesn't recommend pushing it to nighttime wakings at this point, which is A-OK by us. His little I-cried-for-almost-an-hour-last-night puffy eyes this morning -- although he was all smiles and giggles when he woke -- were enough to convince me that taking small steps forward is plenty progress for now.

Oh, and Dad's biggest concern was put to rest. Before bathtime and after naked tummy time, Shorty's "shortie" usually shrinks back so that you can barely see it. But "disappearing penis" is actually a medically recognized and completely normal condition in infants. It looks funny, but it's nothing for Dad to worry about.

The pedicure that never happened: Cayden's birth story

Hi, all. We're home and tired, but doing well. Just wanted to take a few minutes while baby boy is sleeping to share his birth story...

First of all, Tuesday morning I was still 80 percent effaced and maybe 2 cm dilated at my appointment with Amy. She again said she was "really moving things around" in hopes of jump starting some action.

But I felt no different most of the day, except for some slight cramping I attributed to the internal. Later that mornning I talked to Jess and decided that since all was wrapped up at work, I'd take part of the afternoon off to enjoy a pedi with her. So I planned

...ok, typing with one hand now, as Cayden snacks...

to leave work at 1:30, after a meeting. Got out of work a bit later than planned,

...nevermind, too sleepy to eat...

after saying goodbyes to most of the ladies at the office. Headed to Jess's around 1:50, spent some time chatting with Rose & Granny and watching Max before I peed and we headed out to Hershey Nails.

As I park the car and move to get out, I feel this odd subtle popping feeling in my lower-left abdomen, and as I get out of the car fluid soaks my pants and starts running down my leg. 2:53 p.m. Completely bewildered, I tell Jess the pedi may be off, and waddle into the nail salon to use the bathroom. Yup, I can't stop leaking. So we walk right back out of the salon, where all the employees and clients are now watching us with dropped jaws, and back to the car.

At which point I call Brian, who had just sat down in the barber's chair at the Colonial Park Mall. His response to the news that I think my water just broke? "Hun, it's really hot out, are you sure it's not sweat?" Yeah, I was sure. But we think we have plenty of time, so I tell Brian to finish getting his haircut and then stop home to pick up a few last things. (Of course I had taken the camera & camcorder OUT of the hospital bag Tuesday morning to plug them in at home so they were fully charged for Wednesday morning)

I thought I would just drive home and wait for Brian to meet me there after his hair cut, but Jess wouldn't allow it. Thank god. She jumped in the driver's seat of my car while I grabbed the waterproof absorbant pad from Spike's cat carrier and put it on the passenger's seat. So not like me to have left his cage in the car for two weeks after his appointment, but his pee towel sure saved the seat of the Rav4.

So Jess starts heading towards our house and the hospital (choosing a route a little more direct to the hospital) as I call the doc. Period-like cramps are sudddenly coming every four minutes. Doc says go to the hospital, so that's where we head. Park in the garage, and for the entire eons long walk from the hospital to labor & delivery, I'm still leaking. A lot. At one point I slipped out of my flip flop. Which made me laugh, which made me gush more. Thank God for having decided to wear black pants to work that day. Finally get up to the third floor, and Jess leads the way to check me into L&D. (She's done all of this a few times before; I couldn't have asked for a better take-charge expert in this situation) Get into a room and wait for Brian. 3:25 p.m.

Brian gets a free haircut out of the experience, as Cory & Cameron have been his barbers for over a decade. Apparently the four barbers and the four other clients in the shop were pretty excited, too. Mental note: stop in there some time in the next few weeks to meet the guys and introduce Cayden.

Still two centimeters at the first exam by the Hershey docs, when they confirm my membranes spontaneously ruptured and I was staying until we had a baby, either Tuesday or Wednesday. (I don't remember any of their names or who was a student, resident or attending; there were a slew of them. But interestingly enough, they were all female and all 30 years old or younger. I hope I didn't insult any of them when I commented as such.) But the contractions were coming closer together and were starting to get tough.

Brian shows up, and shortly after Jess left. At some point way more quickly than I thought it would happen, contractions became one minute apart and are WAAAAY tougher than I imagined. Tried standing, squatting, sitting, leaning, breathing and just about everything to cope with them, but each one exhausted and scared me even more. And the wires drove me NUTS! It was nearly impossible to move around and try to find a position that eased the pain a little, because everytime I moved I was yanking on a cord. The blood pressure cuff cord, the cord to the belt monitoring contractions, the cord to the thingie monitoring Cayden's heartbeat and eventually my IV cord.

So I make the best decision I could have, and opt for the epidural. Tried it my way without pain meds, and it didn't work. So bring on the drugs. Problem was, there was an emergency c-section and another delivery going on, and my IV line hadn't even been put in, yet. Eventually I get the IV, get a bag of fluid down, and the anesthesiologists finish up with the other procedures. That was a LOOOOOOONG, HAAAAAAARD wait.

At 5:25 p.m. I've progressed to 5 cm, and at 5:55 p.m. I am unbelievably happy to suddenly be pain free. Turns out the docs gave me a spinal/epi combo, which immediately relieved the ridiculously painful, intense and right-on-top-of-each-other contractions while the epi had a chance to start working. And once the drugs were in, family was welcome back into the room. I did have one spot low on my left side that the pain meds didn't reach, but I was happy to manage that pain instead of what I felt before.

Epi did make the contractions more sporadic, but they didn't delay labor for me. Time seemed to fly by, and suddenly at 7:45 p.m. the doc announced I was fully dilated and at +2 station. She had me get up onto all fours to help raise Cayden's heartbeat a little, and while I was up there, Brian -- dumbfounded at the news of full dilation, since the nurses told us to expect to progress 1 cm per hour -- asked "so what does that mean?" Docs said it means the baby is ready to come out and we're going to start pushing, so Brian texted the crowd in the waiting room.

Did the first series of pushes with the doc at 7:48, then pushed just with the nurse and Brian for three or so times, as Cayden made his way further down. After just a few minutes the nurse called the docs back in and paged the NICU docs. Turns out Cayden passed some meconium (first poop) in utero, so the NICU docs would have to take him right over to the exam table to get the dangerous stuff out of his airways. Once the team is all assembled -- six to eight strong, at this point -- we start pushing again. I couldn't really feel the contractions so much as pressure from his head when a contraction would start, so that's what I used to let me know when to push. I can't remember how many series of pushes we did (each four pushes long, rather than three, since they thought he would move fast and I wasn't too tired to do the extra push), but Brian saw all 8 lbs, 4.6 oz of Cayden squirt out at 8:31 p.m. I didn't feel anything, but I saw and heard him.

He ended up crying as soon as he popped out (what they were hoping he would NOT do, because of the meconium), but the NICU docs only had to do a little suctioning and said he was fine. APGARS were 9 and 9, even with the mec.

Docs then worked on my two minor tears (I had no idea and couldn't feel the two stitches) and started working on getting the placenta out. That was harder than the delivery itself. Took almost 40 minutes and a lot of massaging, tugging and pushing to get that bugger out, but they're confident it all passed.

Finally, I got to hold Cayden and he took right to the boob. Family came in to meet him, and we got the first pics Aunt Nicole was so gracious to post earlier this week.

Grandude Stackhouse grabbed a newspaper as a keepsake, and I took note on my way to my doc's appointment the morning of the 28th that gas was $2.45 a gallon at Rutters. Meant to price a gallon of milk, but completely forgot.

So that's the story of how Cayden William picked his birthday after all, and gave mom an absolutely wonderful 5.5 hour labor and delivery experience.

Have a good day; call me if you're having the baby

That's how Brian said goodbye to me yesterday morning.

Just a couple of notes to report: I've been yawning a lot more since last Saturday, so I think the fatigue may be returning, and today my lower back starting aching a bit on the right side. I've still been staying up until 10 or 11 each night and the back wasn't killing me, so we'll see how these symptoms progress over the coming days.

Oh, and our anesthesia class on Tuesday was informative. Not grounds for any hard-and-fast decisions (other than avoiding opioid Stadol), but worth the hour spent listening to and asking questions of Dr. Po, one of Hershey's anesthesiologists. There were only two other couples in attendance, so it was a nice, small group. Although the other two pregnant ladies were clearly approaching labor from an "I'll take the epidural as soon as I walk in the door, please" perspective, rather than one of meds as a latter resort of pain management.

But the information about spinal headaches associated with epidurals did make me a little nervous. Dr. Po said instances of puncturing the dura, therefore causing spinal fluid to leak and spark incapacitating headaches for up to a week after labor, "are not common, but they're not rare, either." Yikes. But if I make it to transition med-free, as I hope to, the spinal and the epidural/spinal combo they prefer to do both use a smaller needle to intentionally puncture the dura, so the fluid leakage isn't typically an issue.

Breastfeeding class

Eh, kind of a waste of time. The handouts were informative, but the class itself didn't offer much more. But Brian got a kick out of the stuffed boob they passed around.

Glad to have read the following, however:
• Introduction of pacifiers should wait until breastfeeding is well-established, after about a month
• Same for bottles: wait until he’s got a good latch and sucking routine, before adding another element to the mix
• But since baby will associate breastfeeding with me, Dad should be the one to first introduce bottles, in hopes that baby will be more receptive
• A pumping routine should start at least a couple of weeks before I return to work (although I think I’ll probably start after a few weeks, to start “stocking up”)
• Hershey offers an eight-part series of classes on breastfeeding for new moms.

No particular recommendations were offered on the bottle front, so I think I'm going to stick with Dr. Browns and Avent bottles, both recommended for easier transition to bottle-feeding and for preventing reflux. But I'll only open the bottles as we use them, so I can return them for other options if baby boy ends up objecting to the bottles I picked.

The instructor did, however, kind of endorse the pump I'm considering, the Ameda Purely Yours. She used a Medela, but she said Hershey only offers Medela and Ameda pumps for sale because of the quality and research both companies offer.

And speaking of pumping -- why, you may ask, am I thinking of pumping earlier than I'd need to, to prepare for my return to work? Simply put, because my 30th birthday will likely be about a month after this baby is born, and I'd like to have a few feedings "stocked up" in the freezer by then so that I can celebrate three decades with as many drinks as I want. It's been a loooong time, folks, since I enjoyed a good wine buzz, and I'm really looking forward to it. Assuming we can find responsible, sober babysitters for that day/evening, of course.

Funny, because when the question of alcohol consumption and breastfeeding came up last night, our instructor approached the topic from a completely different perspective.

Her take: "Ladies, if you really want a beer or a glass of wine on that anniversary or special occasion every now and then, go ahead and allow yourself that one drink. No need to pump and dump. Just breastfeed beforehand so you can enjoy the drink and it's out of your system by the time you need to breasfeed again in three hours or so."

My approach: I've allowed myself a small glass of wine or part of a beer every now and then for the past few months. I'm comfortable with my decision, and I don't feel like defending myself or opening a debate on the topic right now. What I'm talking about is real boozin', the kind I've done without and watched so many friends and family members enjoy over the past seven-and-a-half months. The kind of celebratory boozin that won't be out of my system by the next feeding. So yes, folks, I will be pumping and dumping right around August 16. I just hope my lower tolerance for the sauce doesn't leave me hurting too much the next day.

28 week appointment with Pat

Yeah, it was kind of a waste of time, but oh well. She reviewed a bunch of handouts with me and tried her best to answer a few questions, although each answer ended with, "but you should really talk this over with Amy or a doctor at one of your upcoming appointments."

Anyway, I learned a few things:

(1) Hershey Med prohibits any photography and videography during active labor (pushing, through cord cutting). So that rules out delivery photography (not that I had pursued finding a local photog), and it means no one will ever see my struggling, screwed up, sweaty, howling face or my birthing lady parts. Camera can come right back out as soon as the cord is cut, though.

(2) Baby boy will come to me as soon as his cord is cut, and the hospital strongly encourages trying to breast feed him within his first hour in the outside world. Apparently a successful attempt right after birth increases the odds of successful breastfeeding in the following days.

(3) Baby boy will stay in my room the whole time, unless and until I ask them to take him to the nursery or if he has to leave for medical reasons (circumcision). The hospital thinks moms can bond and learn the most by being with the baby as much as possible in the hospital.

(4) Although the vinyl chair/bed in the room isn't the most comfortable thing around, Brian is welcome to stay with me as much as he wants. As my hubby, he's the only one who gets 24-hour access to me and baby. He's also welcome to shower in my room (they provide fresh linens) and he gets one free meal. Probably not all that big a deal, but I was surprised at the little perks they extend to him.

(5) For the rest of you all, visiting hours are 24-hours a day in labor & delivery, and 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. once we move to a room. But whenever possible you're supposed to avoid visiting from 2 to 4 p.m. each day, as this is "quiet time," when they want new moms to rest.

(6) The hospital is open to a birth plan, but the docs don't require or request one from patients. Big relief, considering I don't feel that I know nearly enough about this process to even take a stab at a birth plan. That's what the docs and nurses get paid for, right -- to tell me the appropriate birth plan? We will take a class on anesthesia in early July, but beyond that Brian and I will rely soley on the experts.

(7) The typical hospital stay for natural birth is two days, and for c-section it's three days.

As for birth control, I have to talk it over with a doc, but I think the plan will be to go without any kind of pill for a few months, at least. News to me, but apparently breastfeeding hampers ovulation, so moms who rely solely on breast milk for baby typically don't ovulate for a long time after delivery. Pat suggests that our intent to breastfeed combined with my history of erratic cycles when not on the pill may be sufficient reasons to see how my cycles progress on their own for the first few months. Then I could consider going back on the regular pill or a breastfeeding-safe "mini-pill."

Oh, and I got the results of last week's blood test: I'm not anemic (iron levels are fine), and my blood glucose was 120 (anything under 140 is normal).

Next appointment is next Thursday morning, with Amy. Next Thursday is also our first childbirth class at the Med Center, so I'll start and end my day with baby news!

Today's doctor's appointment

I met Dr. Carie D'Agata this morning, one of the 10 OBGYNs who may deliver this little sucker in July.

Looks like I'm up to a weight gain of about 8 pounds since pre-pregnancy, ultrasound results from a couple of weeks ago look good and baby's heartbeat was 120.

I asked about the variations in heartbeat over the past few appointments (160, 143, 120), and Dr. D'Agata said variatons are good, as they indicate the baby is progressing through different stages of neurologic development. Any heartbeat between 110 and 170 is perfectly normal.

Then the regular litany of questions: Bleeding? No. Swelling? No. Pain or discomfort? No.

And a new one: Have you started to feel the baby move, yet? To which I answered honestly, "I don't know." I have felt some things down there over the past week or so, but the gurgley bubbly feeling could be attributed either to digestion or the baby. Apparently that's normal, and she said just to be aware of movement down there, as I'll probably start to know the difference before my next appointment.

Dr. D'Agata said the Med Center starts measuring the belly with a tape measure around 20 weeks, but at just shy of 21 weeks today she could feel the top of my uterus right at my belly button, so there was no need to measure. Measuring tape will, however, come out next month.

She sent me home with the now standard pee cup and a new, one-time special treat: my ultra-sugary orange drink, which I have to down an hour before my next appointment so they can take some blood to see how my body processes sugar. Some women hate the gestatational diabetes test, some say it's not too bad. I'm just glad I can drink the stuff at home rather than wait around the hospital for an hour.

Today's appointment

I dropped off pee, got weighed (lost a half-pound since Jan. 6) and heard the heartbeat through doppler. In and out in less than 10 minutes, save of course the time in the waiting room. Only thing I was expecting that didn't happen was a measurement of my belly, from breast bone to below the belly button. I guess it's still to early for that, yet.

CRNP Amy isn't concerned at all about the weight. She says any gain between zero and 10 pounds through week 20 is OK with her, as long as I feel OK and no other issues arise. She did laugh when she saw my shoes and said I'd probably opt for a more comfy, non-stiletto style if/when my back starts hurting.

She was also eager to make a guess about the sex, but she said she just didn't have enough info on which to base anything. In her experience, faster hearbeats and mom's weight gain in the face and hips are tell-tale signs a little girl is on the way. On the flip side, if all mom's weight is carried up front in the bump, it's a boy. Amy said the heartbeat was a little fast (darn if I didn't ask the rate), but she just didn't have enough to go on for a guess. She did say dreams are also telling predictors, but I haven't had any baby dreams. So we'll just have to wait until Feb. 24.

Double good news

Hershey's prenatal genetic counselor called yesterday, and we're in the "normal" range for risk of Downs Syndrome, Trisomy 13 and Trisomy 18. There's always risk, but our risk is no higher than usual.

Also, I was pleasantly surprised this past week when I received in the mail two pairs of long maternity pants from Motherhood Maternity and one from Old Navy. Of course I ordered them, they didn't just send them to me. But that would have been nice. Anyway, they actually aren't that bad. In fact, they look good and fit pretty well. And the fact that maternity sizes tend to run large so I consequently take a MM small and ON extra-small didn't hurt. :) My sweet husband did point out, however, that if my "ass gets any bigger it certainly won't fit in those," my cute new courderoys.
And when I tried on the MM "secret fit" pants, a confused look crossed his face and he asked me, "what are you supposed to be, Catwoman?" Apparently he thinks these resemble a body suit, since there's no bump to wrap, yet. Ah, these little gems of entertainment keep me smiling all day long.

Enjoy the weekend!

12 Weeks

As compared to ten weeks and eight weeks. No real change yet, but my leather pants seemed just a *wee* bit tighter than usual yesterday.

We found out yesterday we've been assigned to the control group for the research project, so we'll enroll in the standard childbirth classes. Would have been nice to have the additional info from the Childbirth Plus series, but on the bright side we have less classes to attend.

Weight seems to be a common inquiry recently, so I'll just put it out there. I've gained three pounds between Nov. 18 (five weeks pregnant) and yesterday's doctor's appointments. "Normal" and recommended weight gain is two to four pounds in the first trimester, so I'm right on track.

To think I'll start packing on about a pound a week in the next few weeks is a little intimidating, though!

Our First In-Home Visit

We met Friday night with a researcher from Penn State Harrisburg, who conducted our first in-home visit for the childbirth class research project in which we're participating. Independently from the other we each had to fill out a big questionnaire booklet, which asked about everything from our financial situation to breastfeeding preferences and from how we'd like to see chores assigned in the future to whether or not we beat each other. Really, there were two whole pages dedicated to exploring what variety of weapons we've used against each other, how many times in the past year we've sworn at each other and whether or not either of us has been or should have been hospitalized due to partner abuse. Yikes!

All in all, the survey made us feel pretty good about our relationship.

We also had to participate in three video-taped excercises, which were kind of weird at first. But then again our researcher said they made her feel akward too, so she went in another room while we did them. For the first six minutes, we had to talk to each other about topics Brian brought up. Then for the second six-minute segment we did the same, but about topics I initiated. And finally, we had a 12-minute segment where we had to work on resolving differences. The researcher assigned us differences to talk about based on survey questions we had answered earlier, and I guess it's further testament to our (relatively?) healthy relationship that she had to make a difference up, because she didn't find enough between us to fill the time.

FYI, Our resolutions are that I'm going to better communicate my feelings to Brian (i.e., avoid the "What's wrong?" / "Nothing" / "No really, what's wrong?" / "Really, I'm fine" dance), and Brian is going to dust his office sometime before the new year. :)

It was an interesting experience, and I can only assume they'll evaluate the surveys and watch our videos to use as comparison for future visits. I'm guessing they're trying to see how differently we'll interact with each other when the baby is nine months old, then again when it's two years old. Then again I could be completely wrong.

Ah, what the heck. It was something relatively constructive to do, and we'll get a check in the mail soon. And we should find out next week to which childbirth classes we're assigned.

And then the best part. By the time the researcher left, it was just after 8 p.m., and neither of us felt like starting dinner at home. So we used a gift certificate Brian got for Christmas from one of his clients to go for the BEST DINNER I'VE HAD IN WEEKS. We went to Hoss's, and I LOVED IT. Don't laugh. It was the first time in a while salad tasted good to me, so I stuffed myself with spinach, broccoli salad, olives, pickled egg whites, garbanzo beans and cauliflower. The baked beans, cheese nachos and frozen yogurt were icing on the cake. Mmmmm, Hoss's is this pregnant lady's best friend right now.

Then we came back home, talked to the cats for a bit and we were in bed on our way to dreamland by 10:30 p.m. Yup, Friday nights take on a whole new meaning now. :)

Childbirth Plus

So, I spoke with the Med Center earlier today about Childbirth Plus, the research initiative I mentioned earlier, in which we qualify to participate.

It sounds kind of neat. It's a PSU study they're conducting over the course of a few years to determine whether or not they should enhance their cildbirth classes. In the next few days we'll get a call from Penn State to schedule a prenatal home visit, where they'll come to our house to talk to us for an hour or so. After that meeting is complete, they'll send us a check for $100 and assign Brian and I to one of two childbirth class groups: the "control" group, which receives the current Hershey Med childbirth classes, or the Childbirth Plus group, which receives the regular classes enhanced with additional info about relationship building, post-partum depression, getting an infant to sleep, etc.

If we get assigned to the second group, they give us dinner at each of five weekly evening classes, and we'll have to participate in a second set of classes once the baby is four or five months old.

Regardless of to which group we're assigned, they'll conduct two follow-up in-home studies, one when the baby is about 9 months old, and the final one at about 2 years of age. All in all, they'll pay us nearly $400 over three years to participate, and our experience will help the Med Center design future childbirth classes. Oh, and we get a free breastfeeding class for participating, too.

So now we wait to hear about our first in-home study and group assignment...

Dec. 4 Intake Appointment

This morning I (Liz, here) met with Pat Houck, a Clinical Nurse at Hershey Med's Nyes Rd. office, for my intake appointment.

She gathered family history, asked me about a TON of diseases and birth defects I've never heard of, and pronounced that this little tadpole has a clean family history and genetics on its side.

Oh, and she verified that I'm not allowed to scoop cat poop until the baby comes. I had heard it was because of the dust in the litter, but Pat informed me it's actually the stool itself that is dangerous. Why? Because our felines may eat mice, birds or other small mammals that have a common parasitic infection called Toxoplasmosis, which could infect the fetus. Bottom line, Brian scoops all poop for the forseeable future. :)

I did have to giggle at her when we went through the following exchange:
PAT: And when was the first day of your last period?
ME: July 18.
PAT: WHAT!? You haven't had a period since July!?
Me: Yeah, but I'm pretty sure I'm no more than a month or so pregnant.

And then I went over the story with her. She just about jumped out of her skin though, thinking I was MUCH further along than she had anticipated.

I've always liked Hershey med for the fact that it's a teaching and research hospital (and because it's affiliated with Penn State, and that means cute Nittany Lions all over the offices), and here's a few more reasons I like this place:

#1: I got a TON of great materials today, and I'll probably be reading for months about everything from SIDS to car seats.

#2: The Women's Health center provides a "gift" to all new expecting moms - "Your Pregnancy & Birth," a 385-page book published by the American College of Obstetrics & Gynecologists. I was really impressed with this one, and it saved me $20 at Borders!

#3: Pat gave me a magazine called "As Your Baby Grows," which shows all kinds of neat (well, some are really kind of creepy) pictures of the fetus in different stages of development. And, Pat was very frank in telling me to just ignore all the formula ads in the magazine, and just take it for the pictures. :)

#4: I found out that as first time parents, Brian & I have the option to participate in a research project for Hershey, and they'll PAY US and FEED US regularly for our participation! Haven't gotten the details yet, but heck, I'll take easy money wherever I can get it.

#5: Pat was very open and honest in explaining what genetic tests are available and which and aren't typically covered by insurance. She also gave me a ballpark figure for the big one that's not covered. Yeah, since we have no family history of Cystic Fibrosis, I think I'll save my $300+ and the stress, since the test isn't 100 percent accurate.

#6: Holy cow, they offer over a dozen different childbirth and parenting classes! We'll have to see which ones/how many are covered by insurance.

My appointment ended in the lab, where they took FIVE vials of blood (ugh) and a urine sample.

Next appointment is Tuesday with CRNP Amy Stauffer, who will review the lab results and do an ultrasound to establish a due date.

And from that point, it looks like appointments every four to six weeks for the next five or six months.