OK, there is one thing cuter than babies in costume...

...a baby out of costume!

3 Month, 1 Day Update

First of all, Cayden's vaccination this afternoon (the first of two prevnar shots to prevent Pneumococcal disease) went fine. A little cry after the needle, but he nursed and fell asleep right afterward. No reaction so far, other than a particularly sleepy baby this afternoon, but that may be because of the baby Tylenol. And the best part? Our alternate vaccination schedule isn't even going to cost us any extra money, because my insurance doesn't charge a co-pay for nurse-only visits!

Hopefully my swine flu vaccination will go as well tomorrow.

Today I explored Once Upon A Child for the first time, and I think we'll become regular customers. I got Chicken Wing's entire 9-month wardrobe for $68! And by 9-month wardrobe, I mean that's the size he's moving into now, so I had to stock up on long-sleeved onesies, pants and sleepers before he outgrows all his 6-month clothes.

Last night, at three months old, Cayden slept for a 5-hour stretch. It was very nice.

I definitely built my return to work up to be much worse than it actually was. I enjoyed the mental stimulation, and my baby did just fine with all his Grammas. I think I'm going to have to pump four times a day rather than three, however, to keep up with his intake. Mary said today it will take about three weeks for the both of us to really get into the groove of a routine, so we're supposed to rest and nurse as much as possible in the next couple of weeks to keep my supply plentiful and get him settled into a regular eating and sleeping routine during our days apart.

And lastly, here's Cayden taking his 11-o'clock bottle last night. He can't hold it by himself for long, but he knows how!

Is there anything cuter than babies in costume?

My little giraffe.

All the babies. Clockwise from Cayden: giraffe, pumpkin, holiday t-shirt, wizard, cow (mom dressed as a farmer), dinosaur, skeleton, lobster, pumpkin, turtle.

And as many of the toddlers as would sit still for a picture. Bird, lion, dragon, gorilla, Hershey kiss.

And my pic for best costume, although the 11-month old twins dressed as Raggedy Ann and Andy gave this pair a run for their money. That's a dog costume from Target (the lobster), and mom Kelly's apron says "I LOVE MY LOBSTER." She carried her around in the pot!!!

I also met a mom this morning that breastfed and cloth diapered twin girls, Liberty and Glory, born two years ago on the fourth of July. She had to pump more than a gallon a day (12 times a day, no less) to feed her babies, and she had twice as many diapers to keep up with. What an AMAZING mom. I'm proud of myself for making it through the tough times so far, but I don't think I have anywhere near the strength, patience and determination this woman has!

Three Months Old!!

Three months ago from this moment, I was in the hospital, enjoying my epidural and a little more than an hour away from pushing!!

A picture of my three-month-old baby this morning, quietly entertaining himself while Mama showered and got ready for work.

And this one from this past weekend in Jim Thorpe, where Auntie Nicole thought a mohawk was in order.

And just this week we realized our three-month-old will soon outgrow his infant car seat, which typically lasts a baby through the first year or more. He's only got four pounds to go before we have to upgrade. That's great. Just as I go part-time, we're looking at spending multiple hundreds of dollars on car seats for all the babysitters, instead of just additional $30 bases for the infant seat. If only we knew how much baby crap he'd outgrow before he really got our money's worth. Sigh. But I guess we wouldn't have it any other way.

Delayed Reaction

The Sunday evening anticipation of leaving Cayden for work actually turned out worse than the Monday morning departure. Lots of tears Sunday evening, but only a few sniffles Monday when I left Cayden and Dad in the driveway, on their way to Grandmas. And a few more tears when I opened the card and "Spit Happens" book my boss and coworker left on my desk for me to find as a welcome back gift.

Kept busy during the day, and really only thought of Chicken Wing when I pumped, three times. Which was unsettling -- to expose myself in my office, even though the door was closed. And I just know people on the other side of the door could hear the whirr-whirrrrr of the pump. And then there was the challenge of carrying the milk to the fridge and the parts to the bathroom for cleaning, without raising any sideways glances or attracting attention. I never thought I'd be so self-conscious about it, but I was. I think I'm going to try to find a cute little bag to disguise my milk parts for transport around the office.

But I never even needed the make-up touch up kit I packed, just in case tears mussed my mascara.

Monday afternoon wasn't as good as the morning and day, though. As soon as I got to the parking garage I felt this mild panic, like I just couldn't get home soon enough. I started wondering if Cayden had enough milk to get through the day, if he had enough diapers, did he nap well, etc., etc., etc. By the time I got to the garage I was in an all-out sprint up the steps to see my baby.

Of course he was fine all day at Grandma Barb's, but he was kind enough to greet me with a heart-melting smile when he saw me. And then I just bawled holding him, never wanting to let him go again. Monday night was about as sad as Sunday night for me.

But here we are at the start of another day, and I'm doing OK. Taking each day, one at a time, until the routine gets easier for all of us.

Oh, but Chicken Wing failed to get the memo that this is back-to-work week. Because last night he was up four times instead of his usual three, and his sleep stretches were in the one- to three-hour range, rather than the two- to four-hour range. (Yeah, we've given up on the six and eight hour sleeps for now. Better not to have high expectations so that our hopes are crushed each night) Uggh.

But both Mama and Dad have started hitting the sheets as soon after Cayden goes to bed as possible. It's been a long time since I was in bed at 8:30 or 9 p.m., but it seems to be the only way to get enough windows of sleep to not go crazy in the early morning hours or fall asleep during the day.

My pledge

My pledge to myself, my son, my husband and my job, on the eve of my return to work:

I pledge to keep my family my number one priority, while still performing as an integral, dedicated and valued employee.

I pledge to work harder than ever from 8:30 a.m. to 5 or 5:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday for the next nine months. I pledge to only take breaks for pumping and to rarely take lunch, so as to get as much work done as possible before the end of each day.

Because at the end of each day, whenever humanly possible, I pledge to leave on time to see my son as soon as I can. I pledge to greet him each evening with a boob for nourishment and comfort, and I pledge to give him as much of me as I can until we're all used to the new routine.

I pledge to leave work at work each day (mostly) so that my two hours before bedtime with my baby are spent soaking up his little moments, rather than dwelling on big-kid stuff.

I pledge to work harder than I ever have three days a week so that I can enjoy four days a week with my son, free of guilt. However, I also pledge to not try to accomplish a week's worth of work in three days, both because I don't want to be drained on my days with Cayden, and because the fact of the matter is I'll be collecting a paycheck for three days of work, not five.

I pledge to be the best employee I can possibly be, understanding that I have a new number-one priority.

Remind me of all of this when the shit hits the fan at work, and when I try to take on the world in my typical no-challenge-too-big, no-reward-too-small style.

8.5 hours

That's how long the little crapper slept in Jim Thorpe Thursday night, at 12 weeks, 2 days old. No idea why he slept so long and we certainly haven't a clue as to how to get him to repeat the long stretch. Because the subsequent nights were all 1.5 to 5 hour stretches, and we only got one of the 5-hour deals.

So now we know he can do it, but we have no idea how to encourage the long sleep. Which is perhaps more frustrating than if he had never slept the long stretch in the first place.

Post Labels!!

Not sure why it took me so long to discover them, but I have, and I've just started adding them to posts. Will probably take me a while to get through all 246 posts, but I'll get there eventually.

So now you can just click the "label" at the end of a post to see other posts related to the same topic! Especially helpful for me to track progress with subjects like "sleep," and I figure some folks may just want to search old "photo" or "video" posts.

Cloth Diaper Update

Yup, we're still going strong on the CD front.

We did buy seven more diapers -- one Bum Genius and six Happy Heineys -- to ease the laundry burden a bit.

We moved to the regular inserts (or two infant inserts) shortly after we started using the dipeys, and last week (week 11) we changed all the snaps to the next biggest size.

But everything is working well.

Except for a common-sense lesson I learned last week with regard to leaks. I thought maybe our dipeys were repelling (often a problem with detergents that have additives), therefore leaking. But after inquiring with Lillian, I smacked myself on the forehead to realize they aren't repelling, they're just OVERLY FULL OF PEE! Duh, it's the inserts that repel, not the covers. And our inserts are soaked when Cayden is changed, so they're working just fine.

Apparently I just need to change him more often (he hardly ever fusses over diaper issues, so I don't know he's really wet until I feel the wetness on his pants), use more inserts (which makes him really bulky) or try a more absorbant insert. Will try the old infant pre-folds as inserts next week, to see if they do better.

For now we're on to sposies for a long weekend in Jim Thorpe. First time Cayden will make this annual Fall weekend.

Nighty-night, monitor

Great tool for watching and listening to Cayden from afar when we're awake.

Horrible, horrible machine to have next to the bed at night, especially considering Cayden's room is across the hall. Not sure why it took me so many nights of crappy sleep (breaking into a sweat and wide awake with every little grunt or sigh, of which there are LOTS) to realize that, but last night (12 weeks) the monitor was turned off. Although it was mostly in two-hour windows, at least I slept in between feedings for the first time in awhile.

First laughs on video

Wait for them, they're a little more than halfway in. But I liked Dad making raspberries, so I kept that part.

Just call me Bessie

If there's one thing I know I'm doing well in raising this baby, it's breastfeeding. After some initial challenges (mostly me keeping up with Cayden's appetite), we're definitely in a groove.

And much of the credit for our success has to go to Mary the LC and our Tuesday BF group. The stories and tips the other moms shared have really helped me trooper through. It's just so comforting to know other moms have been there before, and it's encouraging to see the older babies as a glimpse of better, easier times to come. Many, many times I looked at another mom/baby pair in group and said to myself, "he's xx weeks. OK, I can make it to xx weeks."

So it was sad to attend our last BF group this morning. But I didn't cry until we were almost in the driveway back home. And I did get the e-mail address for Sara, mom to Carson, Cayden's birthday twin.

And now we move on to a new phase of nursing and breastfeeding, as I return to work. I've got 73 little baggies of milk stored up in the freezer -- that's nearly 300 ounces of milk, or more than two-and-a-quarter gallons. Since I'll be pumping a day behind for Cayden Monday through Wednesday, our "stash" will either last us a really long time or mean that I can slow or quit pumping earlier. That's assuming my supply holds up against the physiological change/challenge of replacing a baby with plastic horns a few times a day.

So I think I'll take the next few days off from pumping and just enjoy nursing Chicken Wing whenever possible. Because come Monday, the pump will become an integral part of my life at the office, three times each day.

Keeping up with the all-breastmilk diet is especially important to me now and through the winter, as the risk of contracting all kinds of flu is real and present. If Chicken Wing can't benefit directly from my flu shot (got it this morning), at least he'll benefit from the disease-fighting antibodies he'll continue to get en masse from milk.

Just shy of 12 weeks

He finally got his thumb in place, at least for a few minutes.












And even though the Bumbo didn't work a few days ago (he kept tipping over), it worked tonight!




















Crazy top-of-the-head hair swirl.
And one from Sunday, just because Herc hasn't been featured in a while.

My last Monday with Chicken Wing. Gulp

Brian keeps telling me not to be upset because I'll still have four days a week with him. He keeps reminding me "the gypsies aren't coming to take him away."

But it doesn't really ease the anxiety of spending three less days a week with Cayden. Why oh why did he just start to become fun so close to the end of my time off?

Even though I really am looking forward to going back to work part-time, now that I have less than a week left that day seems to have snuck up on me far to quickly.

Suddenly I wish we lived in Canada, where the government protects a mom's job and pays maternity unemployment for a year, and many employers "top you up" so moms can stay home longer and collect darn near a full paycheck.

I know we'll be fine and I'll enjoy my time apart getting fulfilling adult interaction, but I can't help but be scared shitless and really sad today.

Good news is Cayden slept from 9 to midnight last night, then from 12:30 to 5:30 a.m. He's 11 weeks, 6 days old today.

I got a hickie at Bobby's 40th birthday party

Apparently my cheek tastes and feels a lot like another part of my body. Dad took a little longer to get a bottle than Cayden would have liked. I tried to calm him by talking soothingly in his ear, and this is what happened.


Happy birthday, Bob!

What the 97th weight percentile looks like

Both the onesie and the jeans are sized for six months, and neither has been worn. The cloth diaper doesn't help the jeans situation, but that doesn't have anything to do with the belly spilling over the top.

Perhaps needless to say, this outfit was a no-go for yesterday.

Bodily Fluids

1.) HUGE ups to Aunt Lauren, who changed a surprise blow-out dipey last night by herself -- without even letting us know what she had discovered -- except to politely ask Brian where to put the pile of dirty baby wipes when he came up to check on dinner. I give up on trying to predict poops.

2.) Cayden peed all over his own face and in his ear two mornings ago, when Dad forgot to put the washcloth over his winkie to catch any surprises. So he got a morning-time bath shortly after he showered himself.

3.) And then of course, there was the puke-all-over-the-face from this morning.

The Sleep Conundrum

We're not out of the woods, yet.

After four separate nights of 6-hour sleep, 2-hour sleep, 2-hour sleep, the past two nights were back to the old lack-of-pattern, pattern.

Cayden went down at 9:25 p.m., then was up at 1 a.m. (3.5 hours), 3:15 a.m. (1.75 hours), 4:55 a.m. (1 hour) and 6:30 a.m. (1 hour). And the last three stretches (if you can call them that) are fidgety and grunty. From 5:30 a.m. until 8 a.m. -- when Cayden spit up all over our bed then rolled in it to get it all over himself; I'm talking milk curds in his eyelashes -- I went from glider to couch, and from couch to bed.

Each time he wakes, he latches on and sucks furiously, as if he hasn't eaten in hours.

And except for those two nights he slept peacefully sans swaddle, he's needed the swaddle since. He sleeps soundly for the first cycle of the night, but for each of the following cycles he rutches around and works his arms out of the Miracle Blanket. I tried the Snuggle Nest this morning at 5:30 a.m., but that was a big fat fail.

I return to work in a week, and I'm really not sure how I'll function if this sleep pattern remains for long.

And Mary the lactation consultant said to expect a whole new set of challenges when the clocks are set back at the beginning of November. All of a sudden 9 p.m. becomes 8 p.m., so he may want to go to bed even earlier, thereby starting the one- to two-hour crap even earlier.

Maybe this is a growth spurt. Maybe we should try the swing in the early morning hours. Maybe I should just bring him to bed with me after he wakes up the first time, so we can nurse and sleep together for the next few hours. Maybe a sleep sack might work.

Maybe I'm desperate for answers that just don't exist.

Really, I'll take any tips anyone has. I have one week left to try to figure this out.

We're back!! Brief highlights of weeks 9 and 10

The poop situation: he didn't go yesterday morning as expected, but he did go this morning, five days after the last poop. So we've gone four days, eight days, four days, three days, four days and five days.

I've been eating like a horse. I just can't seem to get full in the afternoon, so I end up having lunch, then snacking right through to dinner. But heck, I'm burning 600 calories a day sitting down (making milk, that is), and Barb said she thought I looked thinner in the face when we got home.

Light sleep smiles. Sometime in the last two weeks Cayden started smiling in his light sleep cycles, and it's adorable.

First real laugh. At 10 weeks, three days, Cayden chuckled. Not just giggled, but actually chuckled when dad made gorilla noises at him. We haven't heard it since, but it was beyond cute.

Grabbing stuff. He's starting to grab at and shake the toys on his play mat, and yesterday (11 weeks, 1 day) he grabbed hold of his foot while Grandude held him.

Hair loss. Both mine and his, although mine is more dramatic. All the hair I hadn't been shedding during pregnancy is now coming out like crazy. Normal, but surprising in the amount of hair I'm losing in the shower and each time I run my hands through my hair. And Cayden's hair had been thinning for some time, but now he has a little bald spot on the back of his head, from laying on his back so much.

And the biggest development of all: The first sleep cycle of five to six-plus hours seems to be a pattern that is staying!!!! First six-hour stretch was at 10 weeks, 4 days; he slept 6.5 hours two days later, and last night he did 5.75 hours in the first stretch.

I threw the two-dozen pics from our trip up on Cayden's Corner, but here are a few of the best ones.

Riding with Spike. The trip took just a little longer than it normally does. We didn't have to stop any additional times, we just stopped for a little longer, so Cayden could look around, get a new dipey, stretch out and get a little activity.
















Ready to walk to the rented shore with Mama, wearing the hat Grammy and Grandude got for him in Yellowstone.













Awaiting turkey dinner, which he got second-hand, a few hours after mom had it.










And with Aunt Kathy and Uncle Jeff.





All-in-all it was a great trip despite the bad couple of days and despite less-than-favorable weather. We truly enjoyed seeing all the Canadian kiddos and visiting with friends we don't get to see nearly often enough.

Random thoughts from the Lake

After a really rough couple of days (completely sleep-deprived on Monday, we were starting to consider cutting our trip short and coming home earlier this week), Chicken Wing has seemed to settle into a routine: two shorter naps in the swing in the morning (20 - 35 minutes each), then a good 2-hour nap from about 1:30 to 3:30, then another short nap or two in the late afternoon/early evening. Then we try to start the bedtime routine shortly after 8 p.m. (bath, dipey, jammies, nursing, rocking) and we aim for peepers closed at 9 p.m. We've hit 9:05, 9:40, 9:15 and 9:30 the past few nights. And the best part -- Cayden does a solid four to 4.5 hours in his first sleep cycle. Then he's up 2 hours later (around 4 a.m.) and 1.5 hours after that (5:30 to 6 a.m.), but at least we get one good stretch!

Other than that, just a few notes on the different way of life on the lake. I had gone without plucking my eyebrows for eight straight days until I looked in the mirror and realized I really had to get back into the habit. I'm down to showering every other day, and I'm completely fine with it. And I'm surprised my hair isn't permanently kinked because of the top-of-the-head pony-knot I've been sporting day and night for 10 days. Cayden now pulls hair, and IT HURTS. I'm thinking of getting my hair chopped off a la freshman year in college (when Brian called me Timmy for a year), to avoid the hair pulls and discomfort of sleeping with a pony.

And I'm really glad for the time up here. Cayden is becoming easier to manage, and it's good for me to have time to do nothing but watch him and learn from him. No cleaning, no laundry, no household chores. Heck the weather hasn't even been nice enough for me to take a canoe ride, so I've spent nearly every moment here watching him.

But now Mama and Dad are in town for dinner and an afternoon out while Grammy and Grandude watch the little guy, so we're off to enjoy ourselves sans-baby.

Brief greetings from Canada!!!

The car ride up went well, with a minimum of crying and absolutely NO cat pee. First night was a little rough, but that's to be expected when a 2 month old spends 7.5 hours in a car seat. Cayden has been an angel ever since, and we've moved to a minimum of 5 ounces of milk per bottle for junior.

Hoping to get the boat in today, after we get back from town. The weather has been frigid to say the least (the high was 48 degrees yesterday), but now it's starting to warm up.

Perth library is very convenient, but keeping a baby quiet while Dad sets his fantasy football lineup is a major challenge. Not to mention that baby farts tend to disturb the other patrons. Hope to have more later this week.