Coming Clean

After my dear husband decided to share what I thought was somewhat personal and private news with both sides of the family and a handful of not-so-close acquaintances, I began reconsidering my decision to withhold some of the less entertaining and more unpleasant details of this pregnancy.

Since this blog has become a personal pregnancy journal of sorts, I've decided perhaps the less pleasant stuff should come out, too, so that if I'm ever in this position again, I can be reminded of all the milestones -- good and bad.

So in the interest of full disclosure, normal or not, here are a few of the secrets I've been keeping.

1. Constipation. This is the one that Brian really delighted in sharing. I suffered a mild case of this early on (I'm sure our families remember Brian's announcement that it wasn't just iced tea I was drinking with Thanksgiving dinner; it was prune juice), and most recently this past week. It became so uncomfortable Thursday that it made me cry (I'm talkin' ugly, face-screwed-up kind of crying), which turned Brian's good-humored jokes and teasing into genuine fear and compassion as he realized this was something serious and he could offer no help. I downed a big cup of prune juice Thursday night and another Friday morning, followed by 16 ounces of apple juice and a big cup of coffee. FINALLY, things started moving mid-morning Friday. I was so thankful to be relieved of all that pressure Friday that sent a short-and-sweet silly e-mail to Brian, and it apparently made his day.

Subject: and a choir of angels sang out
Body Content: HALLELUJIA

All the books say to avoid constipation, a woman should drink lots of water and eat plenty of fruits and veggies. Considering I do both, I'm beginning to think it's my prenatal vitamins that are holding things up. In any case, we're heading to Costco shortly, and I'll be looking for industrial-sized bottles of prune juice. Oh, and if you've never tried it, don't: that shit is NASTY.

2. A disappointing baby dream. Yes, I had a baby dream, on Wednesday, Feb. 4. No, I didn't share it, because it kind of freaked me out and disappointed me. The baby had hair in places no hair should have been, I couldn't tell if it was a boy or girl and a friend's ex-wife (who I've never really liked) accompanied him to the hospital to visit us. Very weird, somewhat disturbing and not something I enjoy revisiting.

3. Backne. It's getting better now, but this has been one my least favorite parts of pregnancy. It drives me nuts because it so totally grosses me out! No amount of scrubbing seems to do anything, and it itched like crazy early on. Ew, ew, ew.

4. Funky-smelling skin. This is the only one I haven't heard or read about before, but I can't have imagined it. In the first trimester, it seemed like my skin always smelled like, get ready ... garlic. Yeah, a good smell in a nice italian restaurant, not such a good smell when I'm tossing the girls into a bra in the morning. Gross. I'm glad that phase seems to be over, too.

So there you go, the less sexy and heretofore untold parts of my pregnancy. I promise to try to be more honest and forthcoming in the future. I just hope it doesn't result in lost readership because I gross you all out.