Thursday, September 10, 2009

Really, we're all OK

Sorry to alarm loved ones with the post from a couple of days ago.

Really, we're all OK. Yesterday and today were good days, and even though I was up a lot last night, it was an alright night, too.

Brian and I are still happily married, the baby is in no danger and I promise I'm not going to crack completely.

Writing is just my way of working things out in my head; my own self-help therapy. And it really made me feel good to get that out there. And judging by the comments and personal messages I've received, it made a handful of other women feel good too, knowing none of us is alone on this hormonal, sleep-deprived roller-coaster, the downswings of which I'm calling "the baby crazies."

I promise -- my head is still screwed on tight and I love my husband and son more than I could imagine. But the baby crazies made my mind go places I didn't want it to nor knew it could. But the really bad times have only added up to two or three breakdowns out of the past six weeks. Pretty good ratio, I think, and the desperately sad parts are just as much the reality of the situation as the good days. And the good days are evidenced by all the photos, videos and more upbeat posts, which far outnumber the negative ones.

Day by day and week by week we'll all learn better how to cope with our new life together, and hopefully in a couple of years I will have developed the fourth trimester amnesia I think all moms who have done this more than once or a while ago must have developed over time.

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