Tuesday, August 25, 2009

This sucks

Another rough afternoon/evening. I feel like I should be so much better at this than I am. I just can't figure out Cayden's cries and cues, and eventually his crying leads to my crying, and neither of us can stop. Dad is a wonderful support, but I feel like we depend on him too much to come in and save the day; to calm Cayden and to give me a break.

But at this morning's BF group, one of the women broke down during group and a couple other commented about how many of their own tears have been shed over breastfeeding challenges and trying to figure out a newborn.

But knowing I'm not alone isn't much consolation when I can't settle him down or catch up on rest.


Becki said...

First of all, I can't believe that no one has commented on this yet. I first saw this post in my Google Reader last night and knew I wanted to comment, but am only now getting a chance to write. I wish people would be more honest about this stuff and willing to talk about it.

The time between weeks 2 and 6 are probably the worst, and it'll gradually start to get better from there. In those first 2 weeks it is like a bit of a tease. You start to think that you get the hang of this baby thing and then BAM, they just start increasing their crying every day at the very same time that sleep deprivation really starts to get to you.

One thing that helped me was reading "The Happiest Baby On the Block." I tried some of the techniques. Can't say that they were overly successful, but just knowing that the increased crying and crying for "no reason" were normal for that age really helped me a lot. I don't think that I ever really figured out DS's different cries, but after a while I did pick up on his cues. Don't beat yourself up. This takes time, and I don't think that most mother's are honest with others about just how long it takes.

I PROMISE things will get better before you know it. I know people say it a lot, but try to relax and enjoy this time with him. He won't be this tiny forever. He won't want to be held for very much longer (definitely thought I had more time on this one). Do whatever you have to do to get some sleep, and trust your instincts. I think that I remember that you had a nice long maternity leave set up, so don't feel bad if you need to let him sleep on your chest for naps (only way my son would nap in the first few months), or whatever else. He'll eventually learn to sleep in his crib. It is a slow process, but like I said it WILL get better.

Good luck to you!

Lesli said...

I totally know what you are going through! I struggled BIG TIME in those first couple weeks....from the issues with breast feeding to the constant crying, it was hard! I must say that hitting the 6 week mark has made a difference. It is getting better every day. Although I am not getting much sleep either, it's getting easier. Hang in there and feel free to talk to me anytime...we can be in this together!

Liz and Brian said...

Thanks, ladies. I know it will get better, and I know it's all normal, but it's still really, really hard at times. I really appreciate the encouragement!!